English Department Zombie Apocalypse Preparation Guide

zombie-lg

The zombie above was photographed in the field between AF and Lytle in 1995 by Dan Hollister. The zombie wandered in the back door of Lytle, and, luckily for all students, staff, and faculty in the building, he accidentally electrocuted himself with one of our dehumidifiers before eating any brains. The zombie was quickly and quietly  buried near the water tower.

Our goal is to fill student brains with knowledge about literature, writing, and rhetoric, not have student brains get eaten by the undead. As a result, at the first sign of zombie intrusion, faculty should evacuate all classrooms and congregate on the roof of Lytle. Each faculty member is requested to bring the following items:

  • your three favorite books
  • the largest dictionary you can find
  • a stapler
  • the sharpest pens in your desk drawer